Brad's Attic (Poems and other stuff): May 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Cypress Swap Meet (Worst thing Photo Contest) (Oct 2007)

The Great Tiki here Reporting from the OC Adventure Time this weekend lead us to the Cypress Swap Meet. This is an interactive photo blog So i want some interaction. There are also many inside jokes so if you don't get it don't feel bad only one or 2 people will,. "CYPRESS MAN" (inside joke)

This is how it works --We took some wacky pictures of the some of the weirdest dumbest things we saw there. Your job is to pick the worst thing from all the pictures. Don't be shy -if you read this blog --vote for your favorite bad swap meet item , thing or person. Have fun with it we did.

Here is my Entourage --hitting the "fabulous Cyrpress Swap Meet"

You want class they have it --check out some of these classy items we saw as we strolled the wonderful aisles listening to the enchanting Mexican Polka music.

Check out the great movie selection

Really i could go on and on about the quality of this Swap meet but it is much easier to show you

Danny testing out the overpriced Star Trek Weaponry

I personally was not in the mood to haggle over some cool overpriced Disney posters that included a way overpriced Tower Poster a friend would have loved. (sorry have to quote Monty Python Life of Brian now about haggling)

HARRY
     Oh. Twenty shekels.
BRIAN
     Right.
HARRY
     What?
BRIAN
     (as he puts down 20 shekels) There you are.
HARRY
     Wait a moment.
BRIAN
     What?
HARRY
     We're supposed to haggle.
BRIAN
     No, no, I've got to ...
HARRY
     What do you mean, no?
BRIAN
     I haven't time, I've got to get ...
HARRY
     Give it back then.
BRIAN
     No, no, I paid you.
HARRY
     Burt! (BURT appears. He is very big.)
BURT
     Yeah!
HARRY
     This bloke won't haggle.

(OK got that out of my system)

I actually wanted this --but didn't need it

Now onto more random crap (I mean Quality merchandise --that didn't come from a box in someone's gargage--or "Fall out of the back of a truck"

MR BEER

Good quality Albums

Where isn't Waldo?

Me posing with Jack Skeleton

Danny showing us all where he learned all his moves.

Eric Chilling with a Mummy

Guard Cat looking over the "Valuable Merchandise"

Danny puts on an impromptu Puppet show for us with Eric and Zolt in the background

More classy items this light up sign

A Classy Bar sign

You know you want some of these must have items like The Singing Christmas Tree

Rat Jack in the Box

OMG "I need this---Not"

Who Doesn't own the Video "Doing it Country Style" Volume 3

You may need the Childen's Fire escape Ladder

A really nice Christmas gift for some of your more Religious Friends This Goregous Home made clock

Can you say DEFAULT PIC

All of a sudden a minor Twister seemed to roll through the Swap Meet sending Crap (I mean quality products flying)

Anyone need some Severed Heads

Got ass?

Girls Gone Wild "Show us your T---s"

Some folks from the Swap Meet Hillbillie Jedi (inside joke)

Kicking it Old School

"Red Foxx Standing By"

This guy has had a rough day

Soccer Babies flashing gang signs

With one row left we decided to bail --Except for Danny who had to see the last row. We said fine but hurry up if you aren't to the car when we get there we will leave without you. i joked watch we will see Danny running to the car . And i was right

We drove home in Eric's car another fun day of Adventure

Chuck E Cheese "a wretched hive of scum and villainy"

Let’s start out with its founder….A Giant Rat!!

---Not a cute mouse like the Mickey….But a Giant Scary looking rat…..I have no problem buying food from a Man with a Jack in the Box head…..Or Hamburgers from a clown……Or Whopper from a King….

Those all somehow make sense to me………..But this Rat scares the F… out of me….

(Maybe it is just the memory of once in my youth seeing this Freak of Nature greeting children with a smile on his Rat face ---while his tail was wrapped around some pour kids neck.)

This Rat is all about greed and the almighty token….He worships it…. Like a Mutant Turtle does Pizza…….Somehow this scary Rat has brainwashed adults it bringing their children to one of its many dubious facilities…. (Secret Testing and training grounds)….

The moment you arrive you are stamped (imprinted if you will) with a number like a resident of The Village. (I’m not a number)….. Then the children are let loose……The are set free to run through the test mazes set out by this Giant Rat……Scurrying through human sized Hamster mazes…..Where the shoeless children crawl over one another in claustrophobic tunnels like a bunch of naked mole rats in a zoo…..

The symbolism is overwhelming…..Test subjects being observed by hidden cameras……The children pause in Prison like Cages….As the parents scream out their names trying to locate them.

Once the maze testing is complete….(For those children that escape the maze that is)There is the rest of the testing facility…….Where children are taught such lessons as Monkey Torture is ok….As witnessed in this photos snuck out of the facility.

a href="http://s646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/pineappleman11/?action=view&current=ChuckECheese009.jpg" mce_href="http://s646.photobucket.com/albums/uu187/pineappleman11/?action=view&current=ChuckECheese009.jpg" target="_blank">

Maybe this is in preparation for the Great Ape rebellion that is soon to come as foretold in the Planet of the Apes documentaries.

The kids are taught to Gamble….. At the age of 3 they are programmed to throw coins into machines with the hopes of earning some cheap plastic prize…..Games that require no skill whatsoever…. And they are no longer even disguised anymore…. Blatant Vegas training machines featuring Elvis ---and Wheel of Fortune and Deal or No Deal.